


Hopes of the Future

by Northern_Lady



Series: Family Duty Honor [2]
Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Arranged Marriage, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, slightly OOC
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-05
Updated: 2016-01-05
Packaged: 2018-05-11 21:56:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,288
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5643298
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Northern_Lady/pseuds/Northern_Lady
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Meera's imprisonment is finally nearing an end until Kevan Lannister ruins everything.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hopes of the Future

Four years Meera had been a prisoner at Casterly Rock. She had been given a real bedchamber and even had a handmaid but she was a prisoner nonetheless. Edmure had been treated well too just as Ser Jaime had promised. Even so, she did not enjoy her life at Casterly Rock. Every day was much the same, meals, reading, needlework, walks in garden, visits with her nephew (Edmure and Roselyn’s child) drawing or sketching by the fire in the evening, and then repeating it all the following day. 

Then the war was ended. A new queen sat on the iron throne. Edmure and Roselyn and their son were being sent home to Riverrun right away. Jaime Lannister was returning home to Casterly Rock and would arrive any day. No word had been sent at all about what was to be done with Meera. At first Edmure had refused to leave without his sister. Kevan Lannister would hear none of that. He sent the three away whether they liked it or not. He wouldn’t risk defying the new queen so soon in her reign. There was no telling how she might react. She might send her dragons to quell the Lannister rebellion and he couldn’t have that. Meera would just have to wait for a reply to their inquiry on what was to be done with her. 

Meera was in her chambers watching out the window when Ser Jaime, Lord Jaime, arrived. It wasn’t the first time she had seen him arrive from a window at Casterly Rock and she found herself having much the same reaction as the first time. He was not so young anymore but he was still handsome. She moved away from the window and tried to focus her thoughts on other things. Anything but the return of the Lord of the Castle. She kept to her room and the gardens after that. Meals were brought to her room so there was no need to go to the great hall. She inquired several times to find out if there was any word on what was to be done with her but no one seemed to know anything. Four days passed and Meera felt that she could take the suspense no longer. She left her room and sought out Lord Jaime’s rooms. No one tried to stop her. She wasn’t officially a prisoner anymore and she had never been a threat in the first place. She found his rooms easily enough and she knocked firmly on the door to his solar. 

“Enter.” Jaime called from inside the room. 

Taking a deep breath, Meera opened the door and entered the room. 

“Meera? I thought you had gone back to Riverrun?” He said, clearly confused about her presence. 

“No. My name was not mentioned in the queen’s message so your Uncle Kevan would not let me go. He said he was sending an inquiry as to whether I may leave or not but no one can tell me if the queen has sent a reply.” Meera told him. 

Jaime shook his head. “Uncle Kevan is being purposely obtuse. I’m sure the queen had no intention of keeping you at Casterly Rock any longer. He could have sent you with your brother if he had wanted to. I have no idea why he didn’t do so.” 

“Then I am free to leave?” She asked him hopefully.   
“Not just yet.” Said a voice in the doorway. Meera turned to see Kevan Lannister standing there. “I need a word with my nephew my lady.” 

Meera was furious but she nodded anyway and stepped out of the room. She didn’t stray far from the door. She wanted to know what it was the Kevan Lannister was holding back. 

“What’s going on Uncle?” Jaime asked. “Why is Meera Tully still here?” 

“I wasn’t going to tell you. I had hoped to let the queen settle it. We both know that your marriage to a suitable match was part of the conditions of your lordship.. I thought that Meera might make a good match. You were betrothed to her once, and I have come to be acquainted with her in recent years enough to think that you might get along well.” 

“I can’t see how extending her time spent as a prisoner is going to make her want to marry me. And you never even told me she was here, how was I supposed to get along with her if I didn’t know she was here?” Jaime protested, angered. 

“As I said, I planned to let the queen arrange it. We already knew that the queen herself would have to approve the marriage so that our House doesn’t become too powerful. She will reply any day and let us know if the betrothal is accepted or not.” 

Jaime got to his feet and Meera heard the sound of his chair being knocked to the floor behind him. “How could you arrange a betrothal without my permission?” 

“I am the closest thing you have left to a father. I did it for your own good.” Kevan said firmly. “I see no reason why the queen will not approve. You will marry Meera Tully and my brother will finally have the legacy he wanted. He approved of her as a wife for you once. Who knows what sort of riff raff you would chose if left to your own devices. Your father would turn over in his grave if you chose poorly. It is the least I can do for him.” 

“Get out.” Jaime said through gritted teeth. 

Kevan left the room and found Meera outside the door, glaring at him in a fury. “Well, he’s just as angry as you are. You two at least have that much in common.” Then he walked away from her. 

Meera stood outside the door, shaking with fury. She heard the footsteps of Jaime approaching.

“I’m sorry.” He said, still angry. “At least you know that I didn’t plan this.” 

Meera nodded, the words that had just been spoken and their entire meaning were finally catching up with her. “I’m never going home…” She said in realization. 

“Yes you are.” Jaime said firmly. “I’ll take you there myself. Right now.” 

“And what if the queen approves the betrothal? I doubt she would find it amusing if we asked for it to be dissolved.” 

“Maybe she won’t approve.” He said. 

Meera shook her head. “I should go back to my room. Will you send someone to tell me as soon as there is word from the queen?” 

“I will.” He told her and watched her as she walked away, sadly. 

Two days later Jaime visited Meera’s rooms. 

“It came.” He said in her open doorway. 

Meera looked up from her book. “And what does it say Ser?” 

“It says we are to be married in two moons.” He told her. 

“I see.” Meera said calmly as she fought to hold back her tears. 

“Will you join me for dinner tonight in my solar?” He asked her. 

She nodded, still unable to speak. 

“I’ll leave you alone for now.” He said and left her doorway. 

That evening Meera went to Jaime’s rooms for dinner. She had spent much of the day in tears. Not because she hated Jaime Lannister. She didn’t expect he would be a cruel husband. She found she was mostly disappointed that she could not return to Riverrrun, disappointed that her choices had been taken away from her. However, she hadn’t had any real choice in her first marriage either and Jaime probably wouldn’t have fits of temper like Tobias used to have. At least she hoped he wouldn’t. Even if he did, she wasn’t too terribly worried about that. A bruise here and there was nothing compared to a life of loneliness. With Tobias she’d had friends among the household. The Lannister household had seen her as a prisoner for years. Could they even transition to knowing her as Lady of the Rock or would she always be lonely? 

Dinner was a quiet affair. They did chat a little. They spoke of the new queen, of his Uncle Kevan, of the weather, the ocean and the ships that arrived from Dorne at the harbor, of everything and anything except for their past and their impending future. Jaime walked with Meera back to her room that night. It soon became their new routine. The pair of them got along well enough but both of them kept their distance from one another in some ways. Jaime did not speak of Cersei or his captivity under Rob Stark of the loss of his hand and Meera did not speak of Tobias or Tomas or of her imprisonment. 

It was one week before the wedding. Meera sat combing her red hair in her chambers one evening after dinner. Jaime had said goodnight and left her nearly an hour earlier. A knock sounded at her door, startling Meera out of her melancholy thoughts. 

“This came for you.” Jaime was standing there holding a wooden box. “It just arrived, from Edmure.” 

Meera stepped aside so that Jaime could enter the room. He placed the box on a small table in the corner and Meera walked over and peered inside. Curious, Jaime stayed to see what had been sent. She took out each item one by one. A well made sword, a dagger, a gray banner of House Slate, a book of knight’s tales, a gray tunic, then last of all a toy wooden knight. At the sight of the knight, Meera burst into tears. 

“What is all this?” Jaime asked, confused and at a loss on what to do for her. 

“It belonged to my son.” 

“Right. I’m sorry.” He said. 

“You’re sorry? My child died fighting Lannister men and you’re sorry?” Meera had been refusing to face this issue for so long that getting this box of Tomas things set off a flood of unexpected emotions. 

“I didn’t ask for any war but when it came I did my duty, as did your husband and son. It’s not my fault we ended up on opposite sides.” Jaime said. 

She shook her head with disbelief. “It could have been your hand that killed him…” 

“Well it’s a good thing I no longer have a hand then isn’t it?” Jaime said, his anger rising. 

“This is no time for jokes!” She countered. 

“I wasn’t joking. The loss of a hand is nothing to joke about.” 

“Neither is the loss of a son.” 

“No, but you can have other sons. It’s not as if I can grow a new hand!” Jaime shouted. 

Meera slapped him. She hadn’t meant to but it was something she had been known to do when provoked to anger. Jaime took a step back, furious, and Meera had a moment of panic that he might lash out at her as Tobias had done. She hadn’t hurt Jaime. Not really. She hadn’t been trying to hurt him, only to express her outrage. She wasn’t truly strong enough to harm him even if she tried. Jaime was however, strong enough to hurt her. 

Jaime saw the fear in her eyes and the way she had taken three steps back to get away from him and all his anger melted away. “Did you think I would strike you?” 

She swallowed. “Tobias did sometimes…” 

“Your husband struck you? Did he beat you or just strike you in a fit of temper?” Jaime asked her concerned. 

“I don’t want to talk about it.” Meera said stiffly. 

“We have to talk about it.” Jaime insisted. “We have to talk about a lot of things that we’ve been avoiding for too long.” 

“I can’t have children.” She said with realization. “After Tomas was born the maester said I was barren. I have lived with that reality for so long that I don’t even think about it most of the time but...if the queen had known she would have never consented to the betrothal. Casterly Rock needs an heir.” 

“Gods…” Jaime ran his fingers through his hair. 

Meera laughed bitterly. “I am so stupid. At least now you’ll be free of me.” 

“What if I don’t want to be free of you?” 

Meera stared at him, hardly able to believe what she was hearing. 

“But clearly you did want to be free of me so I’ll write to the queen and explain that a new match will need to be made.” Jaime said, backing out of her room as he spoke. 

Meera’s heart was pounding in her throat. It had never occurred to her that Jaime might ever come to care for her or that he would want her to be his wife. He had been kind to her all this time and had made her laugh many times during their dinners together. Had it not been for the war… he was not such a bad man. She had behaved monstrously by slapping him. 

She ran out of her room and saw him nearing the end of the hall. 

“Jaime?” She called after him. “I’m sorry that I slapped you. You didn’t know that I can’t have children. It was very rude of me.” 

Jaime turned and came back up the hall to stand outside of her door. “No, I shouldn’t have said what I did. My words were uncalled for.” 

“You should know, I’m not so anxious to be free of you as I am to just go home.” She told him sadly. 

“I know.” He nodded, “I’ll send word to the queen right away and then you can go home.” 

“Thank you.” She said and took a step back towards her door. “Good night Ser.” 

“Good night.” Jaime said and took his leave of her. 

The following evening as time for dinner approached, Meera was unsure where she was supposed to take her meal. Would she be expected to dine with Jaime now that he was not going to be her husband? Would anyone think to send a meal to her room? She could request a meal of course, but she disliked wondering if Jaime was expecting her company. He had been kind to her and it would be rude not to go if was expecting her. But had he probably only invited her as a means of getting to know his future wife. It was ten minutes past time for the meal to begin. Meera paced the room again and again. She heard footsteps in the hall. A servant. 

“His lordship would like to know if you will be taking your meal in your room or in his solar?” The older manservant asked. 

“I...well.. did he request that I join him?” Meera asked. 

“Not exactly, m’lady.” 

“What exactly did he say?” Meera asked. 

“He asked me to find out if he would be dining alone or not. He seemed quite saddened at the prospect.” 

“Oh. Then tell him I will be there right away, I was only late because I was braiding my hair.” Meera said. 

The man stared at her unbraided hair and chose wisely not to argue with her. “Yes m’lady.” 

Meera went back into her chambers and changed dresses then quickly pulled her hair into a single braid. She walked slowly to Jaime’s solar, giving the servant plenty of time to arrive ahead of her. 

“Braiding your hair?” Jaime said with half a smile when she entered the room. “That’s your excuse?”   
“I almost didn’t come at all.” She admitted as she took a chair. 

“I suspected as much. What I don’t know is if you didn’t come because you believed I wouldn’t want you here or because you didn’t want to be here. Now, I know you want to go home. I know you don’t actually want to be here but I had assumed before yesterday that we getting along alright, that you were at least comfortable with my company. Was I wrong about that?” 

Meera sighed. “You weren’t wrong. I have enjoyed your company. I think that when I go home I’ll miss you.” 

“I am quite sure I’ll miss you too.” Jaime told her. 

“Not for long. You’ll be given a wife soon enough…” 

“Not too soon I hope. I had grown rather accustomed to the idea of having you as a wife. I dislike change.” He said. 

“Were you disappointed with the change the first time?” Meera asked him. “All those years ago when we were betrothed and your father ended it?” 

“No, but I was young and stupid. Were you disappointed?” 

“Yes..” Meera said in almost a whisper. “Sometimes Tobias lost his temper with me or had drunk far too much wine and he would just be in this rage...it didn’t happen often, a few times a year...anyway I would think to myself that Jaime Lannister wouldn’t have hurt me like he did. Then I would remember how futile it was to wish for things that could never be and I’d push the thoughts out of my mind.” Meera found herself wiping away unwanted tears. 

“I’m sorry.” Jaime said sadly. 

“Well at least there will be no more men like Tobias in my future.” She said, taking a sip of her wine. 

“You don’t think your brother would try to marry you off?” 

“Who would even have me? I’m barren.” 

Jaime said nothing, he just looked at her. 

“Don’t look at me like that. I am perfectly content with being a widow.” Meera said. 

“No you aren’t. You’re lonely.” 

“So are you.” She said accusingly. 

“Yes, but at least I am willing to admit it.” 

“It’s perfectly reasonable for you to admit it. You’re looking for a wife. I am going to be a widow for the rest of my life. I have to embrace it.” 

“You will at least write to me after you go home?” Jaime asked her after a short silence. 

“Yes, until your new wife tells me not to.” 

Jaime sighed and they finished their meal in companionable silence. It was four days before they had word from the queen, more accurately, from her Hand. 

Dear Jaime,  
I received your message and have relayed it to the queen. Perhaps you are unaware that the queen is barren herself and has named a relative as her heir. As such she does not appreciate your rejecting Lady Meera on the basis of her being unable to have children. In fact her grace was quite furious and has insisted that your wedding continue as planned and that any child I might have will be named heir of Casterly Rock. I was unsure what the point of this alliance would be without children however her grace has stated that a Lannister Tully union will help bring peace. I think our queen is simply determined to think the worst of you brother, to believe that you are casting out Meera Tully as if she is somehow beneath you. Her grace will not allow you to treat a barren woman in that manner and so the wedding must take place. There is nothing I can do to stop it. -Tyrion 

Jaime brought the letter to Meera in her chambers. “I know you wanted to go home.” He said, “I’m sorry.” 

“No I…” Meera didn’t know what to say. She found that she wasn’t as disappointed as she might have expected to be. That what she actually felt was relief. “I won’t have to miss you this way.” 

“Good point.” Jaime said, then offered his arm. “Come with me, we have wedding plans to make.” 

With only three days until the wedding there was plenty to keep them busy and plenty of reason not to be lonely.


End file.
